Loneliness A Trap With A Way Out

(Last Updated On: June 7, 2017)

We have all been stacked into the loneliness trap. As you grow old you realize that you do not have to live alone to feel lonely. Sometimes we are surrounded with lots of people but we still cannot avoid this extreme emotional pain. We have all been there for sure. There has probably been a phase when you had a partner, close friends and colleagues but you still felt pain because of the quality of those relationships.

According to many psychologist loneliness is a subjective feeling, and it is determined by the quality of your relationships and not on quantity.

While many people are aware that they are lonely because, let`s say, they moved to a new city, they have changed their work place or someone close to them died, others do not know that they are slowly but surely getting into the ‘loneliness trap’. They have feelings that they cannot determine and they simply do not want to do anything to get out of the trap. They are slowly starting to accept the situation because they are not very well aware of what is going on.

loneliness trap, into the loneliness

There are a couple of things that lonely people do:

Being pessimistic. They believe that people do not like them around and for that reason they do not even try to interact with their friends.

Avoiding contact. By avoiding socializing they are actually the culprit without even realizing.

People know that you are lonely. Some people can easily tell when someone is lonely so they can avoid just because they do not want to be a part of another person`s drama.

Loneliness is contagious. When someone feels lonely he unintentionally tries to lure their friends into the ‘loneliness trap’. After all, misery likes company.

Losing social skills. If you spend lots of time alone then you forget some basic skills like ‘small talk’.

It is not all that dark as it seems. There are some things that you can do to avoid loneliness. Take initiative. Try to rekindle old friendships, avoid being alone, take a new hobby, volunteer and the list goes on and on. And the most important thing is being optimistic. This might seem easier said than done but at least you can do is try because this is the first step to your well being. You are the one who has to escape the loneliness trap.

loneliness trap, into the loneliness

Elena

Author: Elena

Freelancer, blogger and a world citizen.

14 Comments

  1. Basundhara Ghosh

    May 22, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    It’s true. Everyone suffers from loneliness at some point. I think learning new things is the best way out 🙂

  2. Mary

    May 23, 2017 at 5:27 am

    There definitely is a way out, but the person has to want to take that first step to get out of their loneliness funk. Hopefully they are surrounded with family and friends who reconize what they are going through.

  3. RM

    May 25, 2017 at 11:26 am

    Everyone gets lonely at some point…. In a severe case, a think it’s key to have friends/family who can recognize the signs…

  4. Danielle

    May 25, 2017 at 11:53 am

    My cure to loneliness is to take a walk, engulf myself in a new book, or phone a friend. 🙂

  5. Carrie Mcguire

    May 25, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    Surround yourself with people that are motivated and generally happy people is the way I feel like I don’t get lonely. This doesn’t apply to everyone but once I had my son 5 years ago I never felt lonely again, He brings so much light and joy in my life that it is hard to ever feel that way.

  6. Corey | The Nostalgia Diaries

    May 25, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    Whenever I’m lonely, I call my mom. Talking to her always makes me feel better, and our shared connection and history really helps combat loneliness.

  7. Jen | My Healthy Homemade Life

    May 25, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    I rely on my best friend when I’m feeling lonely. It feels good to be around people who know you well.

  8. Sarah

    May 25, 2017 at 6:35 pm

    It is so hard when a loved one is lonely and won’t accept help! You have given great suggestions. I do think we all feel lonely at times! Thanks for this!

  9. Deepa

    May 25, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    Everyone a lonely at times but we need to understand if it’s our family or Friends. Loneliness can lead to many other problems.

  10. Chemady

    May 25, 2017 at 7:54 pm

    Elena, I love reading this great article. There are lot of ways out to loneliness. As for me I don’t give loneliness a chance in my life, I also find a way out. I always try to cheer up people in that situation.

  11. jhilmil

    May 26, 2017 at 1:02 am

    That’s such a great post.. All of us get into this trap sometime or the other.. For me, I try to meditate & write which gives me lots of optimism!

  12. Leah

    May 26, 2017 at 9:14 am

    I have only been lonely once, between my first serious relationship and my current relationship (now my husband) I have always preferred my own company (i suffer from depression) but when I felt what love and a relationship felt like I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I was so happy (and lucky) when I met the man who would become my husband after about 6 months on my own.

  13. Ola

    May 26, 2017 at 9:22 am

    There is always more happiness in giving. So it would be a good thing for a lonely person to think of ways to help others and then do that little by little. It would be so rewarding.

  14. Worn and Weary

    November 16, 2017 at 2:49 am

    Sometimes the loneliest places are full of people! Take initiative? Check, check, check in infinitum! Volunteer? Been there, still doing that. I have struggled for 13 years to make friends in my current situation. For my marriage, I moved between 300-400 miles away from my family and long-term friends, and assumed that, as in every other stage of life, I would keep in touch with old friends and make a few new close friends. I have been beating my head against a wall for 13 years. I have tried repeatedly to connect with people, but seem to live in a very clique-y community and only am on the receiving end of friendly gestures when someone wants something from me. Once that want is satisfied, those people suddenly don’t know who I am anymore. One example: I had an extra ticket for a women’s event and contacted numerous acquaintances and family before I finally found someone wanting to go – the wife of one of my husband’s good friends. She told me how much she enjoyed the event and how she really needed the time with just women. Has she ever reciprocated? No. Has she contacted me since? Yes – because she needed a babysitter for her kids, never as a friend wanting to spend time together.
    There is a younger single woman who moved to our area without knowing anyone and has mentioned being lonely. I have invited her to go to a local park for a walk, had her over for dinner, invited her to go with us to an outdoor concert, and even taken her to the airport when she was going to see her family. She has mentioned wanting to go shopping and I told her to let me know when she has the time and wants to go and I would love to go with her (she has a rather demanding job while I work just part-time). It’s been well over year and not once has she initiated any activity with me.
    Am I lonely? Heck yes, I’m lonely! Have I tried to initiate interaction and activities? Oh yeah, I have – repeatedly. I am tired, I have been sucked dry emotionally and I do not know why, in this particular community, I am unable to make true, honest friendships that are reciprocal. I am an introvert by nature and it is hard for me to make connections, but I have succeeded in every stage and situation of life…except my current one. So all your pat little answers of what lonely people need to do sound pretty lame and ineffectual to the truly, deeply, in-spite-of-their-best-efforts lonely.
    I love my husband and love to be with him. But he isn’t able to understand – he’s living in the same community he was born in, where his family and life-long friends still live. While he knows I’m lonely, he doesn’t recognize how hard I’ve tried, how discouraged I’ve become or that the occasional simplistic little quips of so-called advice don’t miraculously fix the problem. Maybe he read this post…

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